Journal 7: We Are All the Same

Gilbert and I are very different people.  She is older and has been through much harder experiences in life than I have; I have no way of relating to the stresses of a painful divorce and a successive, crushing break up with another boyfriend to boot.  When I read this book over the summer, I read her work as someone on the outside.  I marveled that she could still reach out to others in a friendly way and go on these trips because travel is something I would only want to do under the best of conditions.  If things were going badly for me, I would want to be near family and friends, being safe and comforted.  I am a homebody, as this trip has taught me, and she is an adventure seeker.  However, as I realized at the end of this trip, we are both seeking the same thing: fulfillment through human relationships.       

Gilbert is so friendly with others because she has to be.  Travel deprives oneself of the comfort zone. Since Gilbert didn’t seem to have this support structure at home, she had to travel to find it.  She was able to seek out these relationships with strangers: she jokes with Richard from Texas, talks about love and sex with Wayan, reminisces about America with Yudhi, teaches English to Ketut Liyer, falls in love with Felipe, and even begins a conversation with God.  The beginnings of her relationship with God are what drive the novel from ‘Good’ to ‘Excellent.’  Gilbert is able to take her ability to forming relationships with others and apply it to the discovery of the divine.  She writes in her journal what God’s responses would be, “I’m here. I love you… I will stay with you…and after your death I will still protect you” (Gilbert 54).  What beautiful conversation from God that she experiences!  She finally begins to really meditate with God in the Ashram, when the lion roar of God’s voice dispels her troubled thoughts, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW STRONG MY LOVE IS!!!!!!!!!” (Gilbert 158).  Gilbert finds closeness with God, and this is her defining relationship, other than the one with Felipe.          

I also found connections with people and relationships during my journey.  I can distill all of the things I learned in this trip to two main subjects: faith and family.  I can look at faith and family as flowers that I have always had in my life.  However, visiting the roots of family and faith during the course of this trip has been a surreal experience to me and has opened my eyes up to how lucky I am.  Though I have already had a relationship with God prior to this trip, unlike Gilbert, I found connections to the people of Catholicism and to family. In a way, the two are synonymous.  I discovered two kinds of Catholic families: the global body of believers (and non-believers, that is, the entire human family) to whom I am connected through my faith, and the family of saints, martyrs, and popes that have gone before me and paved the way.  I feel especially close to Mother Mary, John Paul II, St. Francis, and St. Peter through this journey.  I know that I can take these connections to these people back to America with me.  In a sense, they will never stop watching over us.  The second “root” of this trip that I discovered was family, specifically, connections to my relatives. 

I visited relatives in Milan this weekend, who are the family of my great-Grandpa Antonio’s sister.  I wrote to them and was able to arrange a weekend with them, which turned out to be my favorite part of the trip.  It was so surreal- the blood that flows through my veins, some flows through theirs as well.  Their features are my features, and their genes are in me.  Even though family has been a huge part of my life, I had no comprehension that their love could be translated beyond the bounds of strangers.  We are essentially strangers, I’ve never met any of them or communicated with them before this trip, but I feel as if I’ve known them for years.  Zio Franco (Uncle Frank, actually all of these are my great-uncles and aunts, with the exception of my great-great-Aunt Dorotea), Zia Anna Maria, Zia Rosa, Zia Cecilia, Zio Michele, Zia Maria, and fifth-cousin Sandro.  They all love me and I love them.  I was able to experience such a powerful connection there.  This love they showed me was so strong.  I cried when I left them because I probably won’t go back for ten years, but I promised I would visit them soon.  I will include my experiences with family in Italy as a part of my travelogue final project, even though I had originally planned to only include religious experiences.  This is too powerful to leave out. 

In the end, Gilbert and I were both looking for the same thing.  I’d imagine that every human longs for close connections with others.  Gilbert finds relationships in every country that help her on her journey, and also finds connections with God.  During my trip, my homesickness has taught me that these relationship connections at home are the most important thing in my life; however, I have also learned by visiting family that I am connected in such a powerful way to love here.  I am also connected to people of the faith; that is, other Catholics, and the saints, martyrs, and popes who have strengthened the Catholic faith over the years.  When it comes to travel, or even life in general, the relationships are what ground us, and I have learned to seek them out wherever I am.